Dear Forum,

I’m a co-ed at a private midwestern college. I play on the women’s soccer team and even though I have a boyfriend, it sometimes is difficult to suppress my desires to be more than just teammates. (NSFW!)

After a tough practice, we all get in the shower and doggone it, I just can’t stop myself sometimes from running my eyes up and down the soapy, wet bodies that stand next to me. As an upperclasswoman, I was allowed to plan our hazing ritual for the nubile freshwomen this year. Finally, a chance for me to quench some of my most dirty desires.

To start off the night, the freshwomen were to show up at my apartment wearing just white t-shirts, panties, and knee-high socks. Oh, their muscular soccer legs looked so good in these outfits, just like I thought they would. To add to the anticipation of the night, we upperclassman had our “slaves” wait outside, as we plotted their tasks.

When we let them in, we stood over the lolita’s in our soccer uniforms, making sure they knew who was boss. Next they were to do exercises, so they would be all sweaty in their tiny panties. Knowing the “slaves” would be thirsty after such a workout, we had them chug beers to help release any inhibitions they might be suffering from.

After a few beer bongs, we blindfolded the “slaves” and sent them down into a basement to disorient them even more. At this point, I took out a magic marker and wrote degrading things all over them, taking special focus on the inside of their thighs. Umm, my plan is going so well.

We then had them march back up to the apartment where the “slaves” would have to perform skits that I had written, right out of my fantasies. My favorite was when I had 2 of the “slaves” reenact a scene I have had running through my mind forever. In this scenario, the strong girl would overtake her teammate and kiss her passionately, which would unleash animal desires causing both of them to rub their well-toned bodies together. My Sweet Lord!

After this show-stopper, more alcohol was served to my underage friends, so they would be ready to be transported over to the soccer guys house. This wasn’t my idea, but one of the other upperclasswomen thought we should add this to the schedule so we wouldn’t be perceived as anything more than bi-curious. The soccer guys were more than happy to get some lapdances from our “slaves”.

What a night it was. One of the girls was smart enough to post our pictures on a site on the web, so we could access it whenever we wanted to. I know I will be bookmarking that link, just so I can have some visual stimulation when I get my little rabbit out.

Who says just because we have the most stringent academic standards in the Big 10 (oops, hope I didn’t give it away) that we can’t party like we’re going to Arizona State? We all had so much fun and I can’t wait until our next party in June to take it a step further.

Name Withheld

*****EDITOR’S NOTE******

We at The Juice don’t condone hazing, but if it does happen, we strongly encourage photo documentation! Also, with all the heat that has come down on the Northwestern’s Women Soccer Team, one positive has come out of it. All the upperclasswomen have secured job offers working at Abu Ghraib prison. Good luck ladies!

7 thoughts on “Dear Forum,

  1. 2.  Merely further proof that most people under 30 are idiots (even those who go to nice private expensive schools).

    For the record I’m over 30, did some incredibly stupid things prior to that and to be fair some would say nothing has changed.

  2. 3.  Ravenscar,

    This was a Penthouse Forum-like piece. Considering this magazine was probably the most impactful on a young Scott, I’ve always wanted to write my own letter. I kept some of the more graphic D.H. Lawrence elements out of it, but I wanted to keep some flavor. Hopefully that helps you Ravenscar.

    My personal feelings on the event is that I’m not a fan of hazing, but the whole thing, especially with the pictures was incredibly hot. Kind of one of those moral dilemma’s like the foxy blonde teacher from Florida who was getting it on with her students. Not the right thing, but goes under the category of “If Loving You is Wrong….I don’t want to be right.

    Check out my editors note at the end of the piece that I just added.

  3. 5.  I was going to make some sort of clever comment about the fact that I’m actually sitting about a half a mile from the heart of Northwestern’s suburban campus, but everything I came up with sounded creepy and wrong.

    As for this type of hazing….I just don’t get it. I understand the general concept, that “rookies” in any new group have to earn their status as full group members. I just don’t see where humiliation and degradation to this degree accomplishes that. You want to make the freshman carry the team’s gear? Fine. Run some extra laps? Probably a good idea as far as endurance training goes. I know that one of the big package delivery companies would “haze” their new drivers by sending them to an address that didn’t exist on their first day. While there is some “team-building” aspect to that idea, it’s also a practical experience. I’m sorry, but I don’t see how simulating sex acts helps build teamwork OR make anyone a better soccer player. (no matter how hot the pictures may be)

    I’m sure if I read some books on mob dynamics, this would make more sense to me, but as it stands, it just disgusts me.

  4. 6.  Scott – that wasn’t meant as as dig, I mean I really didn’t get itb at first. I probably shouldn’t have been so glib, I apologize. I guess I thought the actual article was so sureally ludicrous it didn’t even require satirization. Again, I’m sorry if I sounded like a dick.

    And, er, yeah, this whole thing makes me a little sorry I went to a liberal arts school.

    Wait. No it doesn’t. Vassar had crazier, smarter, hotter girls, actually.

  5. 7.  For the record, nothing like this happened in my years at Arizona State. Clearly I should have transferred to a nice midwestern school.

Comments are closed.