In my continuing quest to bring interesting voices to thejuiceblog, I would like to submit Serena Hein. I was turned on to Serena by a friend and after reading her very unique spin on stripping for Jesus, I felt it should be shared with more people.
Serena is a standup comedian/superhero based in Kansas City. I feel a kinship with her, as my business card for the past 15 years has listed me as having the same occupations. Check out Serena at myspace.com.
It should be mentioned that Serena is very photogenic.
Hi, my name is Serena Hein. I’m just a girl trying to save the world, so I can go back to playing video games all day. The source of my superpowers originates in my nakedness. I’m currently trying to write a book that will explain to everyone how they can gain superpowers from losing their clothes.
Since I’m working on finishing my newest book (the Christian’s guide to stripping) I’ve started the search for a new publisher, since my old one decided that it didn’t exist.
I’m looking for a publisher that has good inroads to Christian book stores, porn shops, and a 6 figure signing bonus.
I know that seems like a lot of money but I’m going to need to hire some really good comic book artists to draw some parts that I won’t be able to fully explain in words alone.
This is the type of book that only comes along once in a lifetime so don’t miss out on it publisher people. You guys are willing to give Ann Coulter 3 million and this book is going to sell waaayyyyyyyy more copies and at a fraction of the cost, guaranteed and you have my word on that.
There are over 6 billion people on the planet and I estimate 1 in 4 is going to need a copy of this book. (Another plus of sequential art is that it will be easier to translate into other languages.)
I don’t want to over sell this book, but there’s no doubt it will change the world. I’m talking the keys to eternal life here, world peace and how taking our clothes off is all completely necessary for this goal to be achieved.
We can never truly be free till we’re free of our clothes. If we want to return to the long lives we lived in the Old Testament times or hopefully the eternal life we had in the Garden then we’re going to have to return to our original state naked dancing in the Sun.
This is not a joke, I repeat this is not a joke, if you give me 6 figures I will write a book that will tell you how we can bring Jesus back and live forever is his glory and love by getting naked.
From the Gospel of Thomas 37. His disciples said, “When will you appear to us, and when will we see you?”
Jesus said, “When you strip without being ashamed, and you take your clothes and put them under your feet like little children and trample then, then [you] will see the son of the living one and you will not be afraid.”
Thank you Serena for sharing your hopes and desires with us. I know if I was Pat Robertson, you would be a regular guest on the 700 Club.