Funny Porn Site, NL Playoffs, and More

I stumbled upon a very funny website named verybadporn.com. It is a satire of typical internet porn, with its cheesy dialogue and bad camera work, but site founder Chelsea Humboldt adds a quirky sense of humor that makes it more real. In one scene with “actress” Sana Summers, Humboldt says he wants to do her Indian ass, which Summers explains that she’s not Indian, she’s Pakaitani. This changes the direction of the scene by putting the brakes on the down and dirty, so they can discuss the differences between the 2 nations. Maybe I’m not explaining this really well. Just go to the site. It’s really funny and original.

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I will go into more detail when the playoffs happen, but I thought I would mention my NL favorite to make the World Series, as I am the expert on the Senior Circuit. (I had the Mets, Cards, Padres, and Phillies at the beginning of the year, with the Dodgers and Astros right behind. Ouch, I think I just pulled a muscle patting myself on the back) I know the Mets have been the dominant team this year, but I like the Padres in the playoffs, as they have the best starting pitching.

Chris Young and Woody Williams have ERA’s around 3.50. If you think it’s all home park factors, Young has actually been much better on the road, with a 2.50 ERA away from PETCO. Clay Hensley is right behind them with an ERA of 3.73. Since coming to the Padres, David Wells has kept the team in every game he has started and the best month of his career in ERA and WHIP is in October. And no pitcher in the NL Playoffs has more of an upside than Jake Peavy. Despite having a down year for him, Peavy still has a K/W ratio of 208/58.

Sure the Mets have a more potent offensive lineup, but upon closer inspection the Padres have nearly the same team OBP, so it’s not as big of a difference as you might expect. When you look at the pitching matchups, the Padres have a large advantage, especially if Pedro isn’t Pedro. The idea that just because the Mets have the dominant record doesn’t mean that they should be a prohibitive favorite in the playoffs. There is no great team in National League, so it should be pretty wide-open, especially if the Astros and Dodgers are the other 2 teams in the final four.

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I had a couple of you ask when I would be reviewing ESPN’s new fantasy football show. Funny, but I don’t feel really comfortable doing it, but I do watch it every week, as I’m a big fan of their injury expert, Will Carroll. I will offer up a couple of points.
1) If you want to learn the inside scoop on the NFL, listen to Ron Jaworski, as he is the best there is at breaking down the game. Why is this guy not a head coach somewhere in college or pro football?
2) Whoever is in charge of wardrobe is doing a great job, as they all look pretty cool. Will has a lot of talents, but his fashion sense hasn’t went much past baseball caps and cheap polos with radio station emblems. On the Fantasy Show, his shirts make him look almost trendy. On the subject of co-host Danni Boatwright, I want to say keep her in the tight jeans! It somehow makes listening to what tight end you should pick up on a bye week seem interesting.

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Each NFL pregame show is either new (NBC) or have had major changes. The only exception to this is HBO’s Inside the NFL and it remains the best of the genre. Cris Collingsworth and Bob Costas play beautifully off each other, while Peter King is the best insider there is. While these 3 also appear on NBC together, their chemistry with Sterling Sharpe and Jerome Bettis isn’t quite there yet. I’m a fan of Sharpe, as he is witty and comes strong with his opinions. Bettis is not well-suited for TV and the show I think would really work well, if it was just Costas, Collingsworth, and Sharpe, with King having a larger segment.

I’m not a big fan of Tony Kornheiser, but I think he’s done a great job so far in the booth for Monday Night Football. Mike Tirico has done a solid job, as well, demonstrating a reporter’s instinct for researching the teams that he will be covering. Joe Theisman. Well, he’s been better than he was with Patrick and Maguire, but I still don’t think he offers much, beside a lot of bombast. Kornheiser has subtly reigned in some of this behavior, which is to the benefit of the viewer.

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I really enjoyed this season of ROCKSTAR SUPERNOVA. I had predicted the final 3 after the first night of the show and I thought Lukas was the right pick for the band, because the other 2 (Toby and Dilana) were too good of singers to front this second-rate outfit. The original songs the band had written were what you would expect from 3 guys who have never been major songwriters. CBS really blew the final show, as the commercial before they announced the winner had Lukas singing his original song, “Headspin” over a preview of their reality show “Survivor.” Considering that Mark Burnett is executive producer of both shows, I knew then who was the winner before they even announced it.

ROCKSTAR is a superior show to American Idol because of the lack of an age limit and that instead of covering sappy ballads, the ROCKSTAR contestants belt out some of the best rock songs ever recorded. Hmm, would I rather hear a Radiohead cover or a David Foster penned tune? This is a big problem with the show “Duets”, as the format makes for one saccharine MOR tune after another. Have you ever wondered what happened to Michael Bolton or Dick Marx (also known by many as Richard)? Tune into “Duets” and watch psuedo-celebrites sing with these has-beens.

5 thoughts on “Funny Porn Site, NL Playoffs, and More

  1. 1.  What I’d like to know is, what genius decided to keep Kolber and Tafoya instead of bringing back the greatest MNF sideline reporter: ERIC DICKERSON?

  2. 2.  I believe they had contract talks with Dickerson, but since no one could understand what he was saying, the talks broke down.

    I was so hoping last night when kolber was interviewing Archie Manning that he was going to ask her for a kiss.

  3. 4.  Another point in favor of Los Padres is a top-notch defensive CF and a former CF playing left. But if Pedro can consistently go six, I still like the mets.

    And is it weird that I’ve also worn a dildo as a chin-strap? I swear it wasn’t a sex thing . . . exactly.

  4. 5.  Voxter. Just want to say that I don’t think that is weird at all. Actually, your method would seem to be quite effective in doubling the pleasure. Whenever porn and baseball are mixed in the same take, I think, what is more American than that.

    Porn+Baseball=the terrorist lose!

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