Since so many christian conservatives attacked Bill Clinton during his Monica-period, I think it’s only fair that the same is done to their fallen breathren. This is why I suggest that special prosecutor Ken Starr question him. Here is a brief snippet of how I think it would go.
Starr: Reverend Ted, is it true that you used crystal meth?
Haggard: First off, I refer to it as Christian Meth. OK, yes I did experiment with it, but did not inhale.
Starr: Did you allow another man to jizz all over you?
Haggard: Well, that would depend on what the definition of jizz, is.
Starr: Finally, are you now for gay marriage?
Haggard: Just because I like to be mounted by a man does not mean that I think he and I should be allowed to marry. I mean now that is sick!!!