Let me begin by mentioning that I realize this seems a bit too easy on the surface. Why I felt I couldn’t ignore the topic any longer isbecause the media won’t allow me to ignore it. Now, I’m not one of those people who blame everything on the media. The media serves up what the audience wants and the ratings for the Anna Nicole-big top (circus, not bra) are through the roof. The Extra’s and ET’s are getting numbers superior to anything they have had in years. It makes you want to go see Lee Greenwood on one of his right-wing pander-fests, just to belt out I’m Proud to Be an American….
I have tried to be consistent on the deaths of celebrities who put their lives at risk. In the past I’ve written about how I wasn’t filled with sympathy for the likes of Dale Earnhardt and Steve Irwin dying because of the way they lived life dangerously. Anna Nicole Smith has seemed more “medicated” the past few years than even Courtney Love, so it’s hard for me to get all that worked up over her passing.
Now I do feel sympathy for the baby that Anna Nicole brought into this world, but there are actual responsible mothers all over the world who pass away from this earth and their children will have to do without the millions left to care for them that Dannielynn has. It was tragic that Smith’s son died recently, but from the couple of times I saw her filmed train wreck/reality show on E!, the son seemed to hate being part of that monstrosity, but had to acquiesce to the whims of his nut-job mother.
Where the PLEASE EXPLAIN concept comes in is why is it so many people are still so riveted to the story, even after being 2 weeks past her death? While Anna Nicole might have idolized Marilyn Monroe, let’s not commission Elton John to write a revision of “Candle in the Wind” about her, because there is no “Some Like It Hot” or “The Seven-Year Itch” on Smith’s acting resume.
I have to admit I never got the initial appeal of Anna Nicole, be it Playboy or for Guess Jeans. She always conveyed an artificial, somewhat empty appearance which her peroxide-hair and silicone-breasts amplified. There was an innocence to Marilyn Monroe, but despite the small-town Texas story that was propagated by Vickie Lynn Hogan, the real Anna Nicole Smith was just some stripper-bimbo who used her looks to manipulate her way up the ladder.
Marilyn Monroe married legendary men like Arthur Miller and Joe DiMaggio, while having affairs with John and Bobby Kennedy. Look at the different men claiming they could be the father of Anna Nicole’s baby. Not exactly the same quality of choice.
Anna Nicole was a woman who was willing to allow a man with all the sex-appeal of the Simpsons’ Mr. Burns to run his 90 year-old arthritic paws all over her. She allowed a man with breath that smelled like a mix of Fixodent and death to kiss her lips, as he happened to be a billionaire. I have no interest in celebrating the life of someone who could marry solely for money.
After 9/11, the days of Chandra Levy and Monica Lewinsky was thought to be behind us. How long did that last, a month? It has only gotten worse, with judges acting like buffoons, because they think it might land them a syndicated TV show in the future. Isn’t it time for us to re-focus our thoughts on the important issues of the day like the US involvement in Iraq or the looming Social Security crisis?
I know I’ve paid little attention to the Anna Nicole Smith-saga, as I’m spending my time feeding my brain on more intellectual pursuits. Now I have to get back to the life and times of one Britney Jean Spears. Let me throw out a suggestion on Spears next single, as I think this fits her new profile.
It’s been 7 Hours and 15 Days
Since I shaved my hair away
I go out every night for a rehab stay
Then I leave the very next day