Some of my favorite commercials are done by the body spray products like Axe and Tag. During these commercials young men spray onto their skin the cheap scents found in these canned products, and voila, they are swimming in hot babes. The ultimate ad done by these products has a Tag wearer getting his girlfriend’s mother coming on to him, from just taking one whiff. Pretty amazing that a major company like Proctor and Gamble (Tag maker) would produce an ad playing on the MILF theme like something right out of NSFW My Friend’s Hot Mom at Naughty America.
Men are such a desperate animal that even the most rationale will purchase anything that promises to make women find us sexually desirable. From Ron Jeremy pitching pills that will Extenze our manhood to khaki pants that cause women to ask “are those bugle boy you are wearing?”, it doesn’t take much for advertisers to get men to lose their grip on reality.
By the time that I had gotten to college, my experience with fragrance had basically consisted of a few spilled moments each year out of an Avon cologne car I had received for Christmas. Wait a minute, I just remembered that I did spend most of my 10th year wearing Hai Karate that I had bought hoping that it would help attract a Charlie’s Angels look-alike. Since neither of these scents seemed to elicit anything from women I was seeking, I went au naturel. That is until I met my dorm roommate.
Sean slathered himself in expensive designer colognes like Paco Rabanne and Ralph Lauren Polo. Since my roommate had a girlfriend and had no problem approaching women more confidently than myself, I figured his smell must be the determining factor why he had the skillz. I decided to join him, adding an expensive smell to my arsenal. For the next couple of years, I would douse myself in Drakkar Noir and Calvin Klein, whenever I left my room. Looking for an edge, I would read GQ, which offered up the best way to put cologne on and which brands women liked best. Considering that a major element of the bottom line for GQ is expensive, full-page ads featuring scratch and sniff samples by these same designer cologne manufacturers, maybe GQ wasn’t the most unbiased source. Using cologne seemed to make me more confident like liquid cocaine, as it provided me hope to conquer. The hope that a cologne could help sexy women look past my more obvious faults.
Guess what, on the surface, these scents seemed to work, as I was able to hook up with some foxy ladies. Now, in hindsight, I realize that almost all of my success had to do with the ultimate aphrodisiac in a bottle, alcoholic beverages, but at the time it was more of a don’t change what is working attitude I was following. Thus, the Drakkar continued to flow. Then I met a girl who told me that she liked my own natural scent and was turned off by cologne. I’ve been with her ever since.
Now I’m not saying that cologne is worthless and that some women don’t prefer a nice manufactured scent on their man. I am just saying look at the facts. According to a recent survey done by Esquire asking women’s magazines staffers from Cosmo, O, Harper’s Bazaar, and Marie Claire what they like a man to smell like., below are the results
4. I like it when he smells like:
A. Nothing 58.1%
B. A sweaty fireman 6.5%
C. Citrusy cologne 16%
D. Scotch 19.4%
Like many other Please Explain subjects, I understand why the item in question exists, but where I’m confused is by the magnitude that men will continue to pour huge sums into something that as often as not will repel them to the people they are trying to impress. Please Explain, Men’s Fragrances.