Look, we all have our own sexual turn-ons. Some people like to dress up like babies, while others like to watch hot babes crush insects or rodents under their high-heeled shoes. Yeah, these are really f-ing weird, but these type of fetishes are only desired by a very few.
I have a better understanding of body part fetishes. Let’s take the woman’s body, as it is something I have been obsessing on for most of my life. Boobs are a favorite, while the ass is not far behind. Legs are a nice feature of the female form and let’s make sure to give a shout-out to the ‘gine. Personally, the older I get the more I’ve become a real sucker for a beautiful face. My specific fetish would be the mouth, as I like a full pair of lips with some really pearly whites behind them. I can look past a lot, if you have that going on.
There is one body part that is most boneriffic for a fairly significant part of the population that I just don’t get. Feet. Now, I will admit that I’m not the most unbiased judge on the subject, as I barely can even stomach feet. Especially mens. Keep this in mind dudes who mostly wear flip-flops. Many of us have no desire to look at your hairy toes or yellowed fungi nails. You don’t see a guy at your local Olive Garden with his shirt off exposing his fat belly or man boobs, but people’s feet are all out their on display. Keep that in mind, next time you want to expose your piggies. Here should be the rule. If you don’t see people with their shirts off, than don’t think it is appropriate to flash your foot. If you’re not on the beach or at the pool, cover up the corns.
In my life, I have run into 2 serious foot fetishists. The first one was in college. I worked at a place called the Burger Palace. Working the counter was this really strange dude named Doug, who was in his late forties. Now when you are working a fast-food counter at this advanced stage of your life, it is fair to say that you don’t have the world by the tail. Doug’s life focus was co-eds. Nothing particularly strange about that except that it was their tootsies that he was single-minded about. Doug was banned from the public library because he had crawled on the floor and started sniffing some unsuspecting sorority girls feet, while she was studying for a test. The frightened shriek that echoed from her was not the sound you would usually hear at a Public Library. This happened during the late 80’s in Iowa City, so it was before there were tons of websites to feed Doug’s addiction. Because of this paucity of podiatric porn, Doug would drive to Chicago where they had some adult book store that trafficked in the magazines that focused on his driving passion.
Early in my comedy career, I worked with a guy who I will refer to as the Foot Doctor. He was an extremely likable dude, who resembled Barry White. At one point during his show, he would discuss his predilection for pedic charms. The line I can remember was I sure do love me some feets. Then he would say if any woman wanted a foot rub after the show, he was glad to oblige. The truly amazing part was how women would take him up on it. These dopey broads just thought they were getting an enthusiastic foot rub, but what they weren’t realizing was that the Foot Doctor would be rubbing one out later to the pleasures he was getting earlier.
The best thing I can say for a foot is when it doesn’t bother me to look at. At no point has it ever crossed over to the realm of being a sexual object. I figure that I have spent my whole life trying to keep from putting my foot in my own mouth, why would I want to put someone else’s foot in there. I would really like to better understand why this particular body part would cause a guy like Quentin Tarentino to waste precious celluloid focusing on them. I mean could you imagine Howard Hawks on his knees judging the prettiest foot on some second-rate talk show? Such is the life for the man who loves some feets. Here is one time I can appreciate the concept of anonymity in the comment section, so go ahead and set up a moniker if it will help you give me a better idea. Please Explain the foot fetish.