Please Explain: The Foot Fetish

Look, we all have our own sexual turn-ons. Some people like to dress up like babies, while others like to watch hot babes crush insects or rodents under their high-heeled shoes. Yeah, these are really f-ing weird, but these type of fetishes are only desired by a very few.

I have a better understanding of body part fetishes. Let’s take the woman’s body, as it is something I have been obsessing on for most of my life. Boobs are a favorite, while the ass is not far behind. Legs are a nice feature of the female form and let’s make sure to give a shout-out to the ‘gine. Personally, the older I get the more I’ve become a real sucker for a beautiful face. My specific fetish would be the mouth, as I like a full pair of lips with some really pearly whites behind them. I can look past a lot, if you have that going on.

There is one body part that is most boneriffic for a fairly significant part of the population that I just don’t get. Feet. Now, I will admit that I’m not the most unbiased judge on the subject, as I barely can even stomach feet. Especially mens. Keep this in mind dudes who mostly wear flip-flops. Many of us have no desire to look at your hairy toes or yellowed fungi nails. You don’t see a guy at your local Olive Garden with his shirt off exposing his fat belly or man boobs, but people’s feet are all out their on display. Keep that in mind, next time you want to expose your piggies. Here should be the rule. If you don’t see people with their shirts off, than don’t think it is appropriate to flash your foot. If you’re not on the beach or at the pool, cover up the corns.

In my life, I have run into 2 serious foot fetishists. The first one was in college. I worked at a place called the Burger Palace. Working the counter was this really strange dude named Doug, who was in his late forties. Now when you are working a fast-food counter at this advanced stage of your life, it is fair to say that you don’t have the world by the tail. Doug’s life focus was co-eds. Nothing particularly strange about that except that it was their tootsies that he was single-minded about. Doug was banned from the public library because he had crawled on the floor and started sniffing some unsuspecting sorority girls feet, while she was studying for a test. The frightened shriek that echoed from her was not the sound you would usually hear at a Public Library. This happened during the late 80’s in Iowa City, so it was before there were tons of websites to feed Doug’s addiction. Because of this paucity of podiatric porn, Doug would drive to Chicago where they had some adult book store that trafficked in the magazines that focused on his driving passion.

Early in my comedy career, I worked with a guy who I will refer to as the Foot Doctor. He was an extremely likable dude, who resembled Barry White. At one point during his show, he would discuss his predilection for pedic charms. The line I can remember was I sure do love me some feets. Then he would say if any woman wanted a foot rub after the show, he was glad to oblige. The truly amazing part was how women would take him up on it. These dopey broads just thought they were getting an enthusiastic foot rub, but what they weren’t realizing was that the Foot Doctor would be rubbing one out later to the pleasures he was getting earlier.

The best thing I can say for a foot is when it doesn’t bother me to look at. At no point has it ever crossed over to the realm of being a sexual object. I figure that I have spent my whole life trying to keep from putting my foot in my own mouth, why would I want to put someone else’s foot in there. I would really like to better understand why this particular body part would cause a guy like Quentin Tarentino to waste precious celluloid focusing on them. I mean could you imagine Howard Hawks on his knees judging the prettiest foot on some second-rate talk show? Such is the life for the man who loves some feets. Here is one time I can appreciate the concept of anonymity in the comment section, so go ahead and set up a moniker if it will help you give me a better idea. Please Explain the foot fetish.

15 thoughts on “Please Explain: The Foot Fetish

  1. 1.  I think I read once that foot fetishism has to do with weird brain wiring. The part of the brain that reacts to sexual stuff being close to the part that deals with feet. Something like that.

    Either way, feet are gross.

  2. 2.  The foot shares a great deal in common with most other lusted after body parts. It is historically covered up in public, plenty of nerve endings for stimulation, and a pleasing curvature not found in your traditional hunter/gatherer.

    However, comparing a foot fetish, or any other fetish, to a breast-man and so-on is apples to oranges. The fact the fetish revolves around the foot as opposed to more extreme bondage or role playing activities make it easy to associate with the more harmless penchants of desire in your average bloke, but for many this is not a passing preference but a dehabilitating issue. Some are able to integrate it into their lives, the Foot Doctor, while some will allow it to exclude them from engaging in healthy relationships, Doug at Burger Palace.

  3. 3.  What a well-thought out and reasoned comment, Xaphor. The proper comparison is not apples to oranges, though, but melons to pigs feet.

  4. 4.  I’d just like to say on behalf of guys who wear flip flops while not on the beach or at the pool that I live in an area where in the summer, 90+ degree weather is common. Socks and shoes aren’t fun in this weather. I really am not trying to show off my feet, legs, arms, etc when I wear shorts, flipflops, and a t-shirt, I’m just trying not to melt.

  5. 5.  Oh, also, I’m in college and I think college people have a responsibility to wear flip flops to play up on their laziness stereotype.

  6. 6.  1 The parts of the somatosensory cortex dedicated to the feet and genitals are right next door to each other. I suppose you could get some cross wiring somewhat easily, where stimulation to your feet could cause sexual stimulation. The problem is that for guys like Doug and the Foot Doctor it isn’t stimulation to their own feet that causes their neurons (and other parts of the anatomy) to fire, but actions performed on other people’s feet.

    I think xaphor comes closer to the truth in 2.

    I was actually having a similar conversation a couple of years ago. Feet are a strange thing. Some people have a revulsion toward them and others love ’em. Others have no opinion whatsoever. For most parts of the body, the average person can identify both an attractive form and a non-attractive form (breasts, legs, ass, face, mouth, eyes, even hips). I can picture an ugly foot but can’t imagine a pretty foot. Off the top of my head, I can’t think of another body part like that.

  7. 7.  I’m going to give college guy in warm weather a bit more latitude. A tan foot is far less revolting, also.

    Can we agree to this. At restaurants, dudes must cover their toes. There are closed toed sandals, which I wear in the summer. Let’s not be selfish.

  8. 8.  4

    Sorry. No.

    Socks and shoes are the currency we spend to be allowed out in public with other humans. Period.

  9. 9.  7 I didn’t even own sandals until I went to college in southern California. Eventually I gave into the sandals with jeans look and I’ve never looked back. It has a lot to do with the warm nights around here but also with the ease of which they are applied. Obviously I don’t wear them to even semi-formal dinners or events where anything but jeans are required, but whenever I can I’ll slap on the ole sandals.

  10. 11.  Giving or receiving a really good foot massage is a fine way to loosen up yourself of your partner(s). I don’t think that’s the level you’re talking about, but it could just be an outlier on the same distribution.

    7 Maybe if you weren’t walking around looking at the ground then feet wouldn’t bug you so much. There are some places where shoes and socks are overkill. For example, DC in August: it’s 90/90 here then. Pants make life miserable and there is no way I’ll be caught dead wearing shorts with shoes and socks. That look only works if you’re engaged in athletic activity. If you’re just walking around like that, you look a fool. Put on some pants, or ditch the shoes.

  11. 12.  Pry my flip flops from my cold, dead feet.

    I’ll get rid of them when ugly people are barred from everywhere.

  12. 13.  Let me repeat.

    Can we agree to this. At restaurants, dudes must cover their toes. There are closed toed sandals, which I wear in the summer. Let’s not be selfish.

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