Greinke and the Douchebag

Exciting day as I had booked my week of comedy around the Sunday day game between the Sox and Royals at newly remodeled Kauffman Stadium.  The park was always the one good-looking stadium done in  the 70’s, but they have now added a lot of great stuff behind the bleacher seats and widened the concourses to the point where it is in the top half again of  places to see a MLB game.

A definite added bonus was that the major’s most dominant pitcher, Zach Greinke was toeing the Trojan for the Royals.  Greinke’s stuff was pretty nasty, considering he was throwing 95, while mixing in 60 mph breaking balls, but the Sox are a really good fastball hitting team, so they hit more solid shots than Zach generally gets hit during 3 games.  The bullpen of the Royals is really bad with Soria on the DL, while the White Sox bully I think is the best one in baseball, as both games last weekend demonstrated. I’m not going to spend time breaking down all the elements of the game, though.  I want to focus on how people can almost ruin a great day.

The weather was beautiful.  Greinke’s on the mound.  My favorite team is playing their best ball of the season.  What could almost spoil it?  Other people.

There is not enough dogshit to put on this hot dog.

There is not enough dogshit to put on this hot dog.

One of the people in this photo is the biggest douchebag I’ve ever witnessed at a sporting event.  I will let you guess which one it is.  Now as a reader of this site, you realize that the language here is pretty graphic, as is the content.  That is the way the site is set up.  I like salty language, but there are times when it needs to be brought down a notch.  One place this should hold true is at the ballpark.

I don’t know the age of the offending jackass above, but I’m guessing he was in his mid-20’s.  We weren’t 5 pitches in when the douche was yelling at the top of his lungs about ball and strike calls from the umpire.  As great as the view was from where he was sitting, I was just to the right of him, and there was no way to tell if a close pitch was really a ball or strike.  This didn’t stop this male Summer’s Eve from stepping out in the aisle and yelling Fucking Bullshit!  He reminded me of an 8 year-old who just discovered how much fun it is to swear.  Considering there was a lot of kids surrounding us, Mr. Massengil couldn’t have been a bigger buffoon.

By the end of the first inning, one guy in front of him, who was with his grandchildren turned around and said, ENOUGH.  At this point, I chimed in and seconded the opinion.  The Douche sat back down and proceeded to pout most of the game.  Later though, he did mention loudly, name-dropping like a Hollywood agent that he had done some landscaping for David DeJesus and that he had a great house.  I loved the idea that a white guy was landscaping for a rich Latino.  It didn’t make everything perfect, but it did make me feel a little better about the world.  Oh and the White Sox winning didn’t hurt, either.


Predictions on Talk shows.
I love Conan, but I’m worried that he’s not the right guy for an 11:30 show.

Jay will do better than expected at 10:00, the problem is the Midwest where Central time starts the show at 9:00.  That is too early for a talkshow.

I would guess that Letterman will have a slight uptick in viewers and Jimmy Kimmel might as well.

Jimmy Fallon has the all-time greatest opening theme in Talk show history.


If you’re going to make a big ass of yourself, this is the way to do it.


Just heard this band for the first time on Sirius/XM and they have the dramatic tones of a Coldplay, but with a really interesting vocal difference. Check out the Editors.

4 thoughts on “Greinke and the Douchebag

  1. Thanks for checking in. I have had a mix of not feeling inspired and more importantly, lots of family burdens. I hope to change this in the next month or so.

  2. I’m extremely impressed with your writing skills as well as with the layout on your blog. Is this a paid theme or did you modify it yourself? Anyway keep up the nice quality writing, it is rare to see a great blog like this one today.

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